Here's something that surprises a lot of pet owners: the dogs who give us the most concern aren't usually the wiggly ones. They're the ones who go completely still.
"Oh, he's so good! He just freezes and lets you do whatever you want."
We hear some version of this regularly. And every time, we have to gently explain: that's not "good behavior." That's a dog who's so overwhelmed they've shut down. It's called learned helplessness, and it's one of the most misunderstood signals in dog body language.
The Freeze Response: What It Actually Means
Dogs have the same basic stress responses as humans: fight, flight, or freeze. When a dog can't run away (they're on a table, being held, in an unfamiliar place) and fighting isn't an option (they're not aggressive), freeze is what's left.
A frozen dog looks "cooperative." They're not struggling. They're not trying to escape. They're just... still. And that stillness is often mistaken for calm acceptance.
But look closer:
- Their muscles are rigid, not relaxed
- Their breathing is shallow or held
- Their eyes are wide, often showing the whites (we call this "whale eye")
- They're not making eye contact—they're staring into space or looking away
- If you stop what you're doing, they don't move or relax—they stay frozen
This isn't a dog who's okay with grooming. This is a dog who's mentally checked out because they don't know what else to do. And pushing through when a dog is in this state doesn't "teach them it's fine"—it actually makes the fear worse over time.
What Relaxed Actually Looks Like
A truly relaxed dog during grooming looks different. Their body is loose, not stiff. They might shift their weight, look around, maybe try to sniff the groomer's face or lick their hand. They take treats. They respond when you talk to them.
They might not love every part of grooming (most dogs aren't thrilled about nail trims, for example), but they recover quickly. A nervous moment during nail clipping followed by a tail wag when you move to brushing—that's normal. That's a dog who's handling it.
The difference between "tolerating" and "shutting down" matters. A lot.
The Warning Signs Most People Miss
Before a dog gets to the freeze point, they usually give smaller signals that they're uncomfortable. These are easy to miss if you don't know what to look for:
Lip licking (when there's no food around) is one of the most common. It's a self-soothing behavior—the dog equivalent of a nervous habit. One or two licks? Normal. Constant licking throughout grooming? That dog is stressed.
Yawning is another one that throws people off. We associate yawning with being tired, but in dogs, it's often a stress signal. If your dog yawns repeatedly during grooming, they're not sleepy—they're anxious.
The "shake off"—that full-body shake dogs do when they're wet—also happens after stressful moments. Watch for it when the groomer finishes a particular task. It's the dog releasing tension, like a person taking a deep breath after something scary.
Turning away or avoiding eye contact is a dog's way of saying "I'm not a threat, please don't be a threat to me." It's appeasement behavior. Combined with other signals, it tells us the dog isn't comfortable.
When Growling Is Actually Good
This might be controversial, but: we'd rather have a dog who growls than a dog who goes straight to biting.
Growling is communication. The dog is saying "I don't like this" in the clearest way they know how. That's valuable information. When we hear a growl, we know to stop, assess, and figure out what's wrong.
The dangerous dogs aren't usually the growlers—they're the ones who've been punished for growling so many times that they've learned to skip the warning. Those dogs go from "I'm uncomfortable" to "teeth" with no signal in between, because every signal they tried to give was shut down.
If your dog growls during grooming, please don't scold them. Instead, tell your groomer. Let us know what was happening when the growl occurred. That information helps us adjust our approach and keep everyone safe.
What This Means For You
Here's the practical stuff—what you can actually do with this information:
Before your appointment: Tell us about your dog's quirks. Does she hate having her feet touched? Does he get nervous around loud noises like dryers? Did something happen at a previous groomer? The more we know, the better we can adapt.
Watch the pickup: When you pick up your dog after grooming, pay attention to how they greet you. A dog who had a good experience will be happy to see you but not frantic. A dog who was stressed might be clingy, might shake, might seem "off" for a few hours. That's feedback worth noting.
At home: Get your dog used to being handled. Touch their paws. Look in their ears. Lift their lips to see their teeth. Do this when nothing is happening—just petting and handling while you watch TV. Pair it with treats. The goal is to make "being touched in weird places" a normal, non-scary thing.
Consider the timeline: Dogs who are severely grooming-anxious didn't get that way overnight, and they won't get over it overnight either. Sometimes it takes multiple short, positive visits before a dog starts to relax. That's okay. Building trust takes time.
What We Do Differently
At River Paws, we watch for these signals constantly. When we see early stress signs, we slow down. We take breaks. We adjust our approach—maybe switching to a quieter tool, changing the order of tasks, or just giving the dog a few minutes to decompress.
Our groomers are skilled enough to work through the nerves and still finish the job. We've never had to send a dog home half-groomed. It just takes patience, experience, and actually paying attention to what the dog is telling us.
Some dogs just need more time, more breaks, or a different approach. Some need things in a specific order—maybe they're fine with bathing but need to do nails first, before they're tired and less patient. Some do better with constant gentle chatter; others prefer quiet. Part of our job is figuring out what each dog needs.
The Bottom Line
Your dog is always communicating. The question is whether we're paying attention.
A truly "good" grooming dog isn't one who sits frozen and endures. It's one who feels safe enough to be a little wiggly, to sniff around, to take a treat, to be... a dog. Our goal isn't perfect stillness. It's a dog who walks out feeling okay about what just happened—and isn't dreading coming back.
If your dog has had bad grooming experiences in the past, or if you're not sure how they'll do, give us a call. We're happy to talk through your dog's history and figure out an approach that works. Some of our favorite regulars started out as our most challenging cases—they just needed someone to listen to what they were trying to tell us.
